Each Breath is a Gift*
These words were not always in the thoughts and mind of Reuben. But by God’s grace working through His people, they are now a constant reassurance in his life.
Reuben was born in Minnesota, but he has lived in Jenison since the age of five with his dad, mom, and older sister. He was a very energetic child who found an outlet in sports. Since church attendance in his family was sporadic at best, he began to rely on himself for whatever he wanted or needed. He became a self-driven, self-willed people pleaser, often trying to please the wrong people.
As happens far too often, Reuben was introduced to alcohol in middle school. He liked the feeling of empowerment and self-confidence that it gave him and this social lubricant helped him to become the life of every party.
Hard work was an important value in his family, so Reuben once had three jobs in the summer where he was working 80 hours per week. He had become an excellent swimmer and had received a swimming scholarship to attend Eastern Michigan University. He attended college mainly to swim, also realizing during this time that he had a serious problem with drinking.
An internship through EMU brought him to Mackinac Island one summer and it was where he met Sarah, his future wife. She accepted him for who he was. However, he felt that something was missing from their lives and he wouldn’t or couldn’t deal with it.
An internship for Sarah took them to Washington D.C. and there they were married. After they had a child, they realized that they could not afford the high cost of living in D.C., so they moved back to this area where they both found work. They also bought a house at this time. The only thing that didn’t change for Reuben was his drinking. By now it helped to numb his growing feelings of anger, resentment, and bitterness. He knew that he needed to be more responsible, but when and how?
Since Reuben had only been interested in swimming and not in his studies, when he could no longer swim for EMU, he had dropped out of school. Sarah had always been tolerant of his behavior, but finally started to “pull in the leash.” It was then that he enrolled in Aquinas College to get his teaching certificate.
The dark side of Reuben’s life finally took over, however. He found himself lost in a subdivision, sitting behind the steering wheel with the car running. It was at that moment that he realized he could no longer help himself and entered an out patient therapy program. He stayed sober for one year, but there were no other changes to his life. Since his marriage was deteriorating, he returned to drinking, drinking heavily this time.
Reuben remembers that date in July well. He had been painting in his garage. The next thing he remembers is someone waking him up while he was lying on the floor with a paintbrush in his hand. His wife and two kids had left the house, but not before she had called a mutual recovering friend to come over. The friend helped Reuben into his pickup, took him to an empty parking lot, and asked him point blank what he was going to do.
Reuben was alone in every sense of the word. Continuing to drink meant death and stopping meant he needed help. His first recovery meeting was at South Club in Grand Rapids. It was when he gave his life and will to God and accepted the reality of his situation that things began to make sense. He believes that when becoming sober 10% is a change on the outside and 90% is a change on the inside.
Though Sarah had been raised in a church environment and had taken her faith seriously, it is only in the past two years that both of them have become active Christians and are enjoying a great marriage with their two teenagers. Reuben realizes that all he has been given — good brothers in AA, attending meetings, talking to other alcoholics, sponsoring someone else — all of these he needs to pass on to others.
Work is still important to Reuben and he has been regularly employed by a distribution company. He n0w belongs to a recovery group that meets at EverGreen Ministries, where he was warmly welcomed at his first meeting. He is involved in a Bible study group where he is held accountable by his peers. He is filled with gratitude and joy and realizes that each breath he takes is a gift from God since a miracle has happened in his life.
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*Reprinted from Ministries That Matter
